We’ve all heard the phrase “adult rules” at some point in our lives. Hell, I think that I probably throw it out there regularly, because I believe this to be a concept at the core of both situational acceptance and taking responsibility. But what does it really mean?
To adult, means to handle oneself in a rational and ethical manner through interaction and decision making processes (my definition). How many times have you asked yourself if the reaction of another adult is a serious one? How many times have you watched someone handle a situation and you think to yourself, “are they actually doing this?” These are just a few examples, however, I see it all and I see it often. There are cases of adults failing to accept outcomes, consequences, reactions, and adverse effects; cases of people refusing to accept the negativity that results from their negativity, the chaos that ensues in chaotic moments, and the failures that follow periods of inactivity and giving up, further resulting in the outward reactions against others.
Playing by adult rules is more than applying a phrase to life. It means doing what is right, maintaining maturity, understanding that not everyone has the same thoughts and reactions as you, and will likely have a different view of any scenario which you may directly alter. These are the things that I literally run into. When others sometimes ask me how we should handle something, I say we are playing by adult rules. And it might sound like an insensitive response, but hold that thought.
When things don’t go your way, that’s not always a bad thing. However, irrational and questionable responses are truly bad. To play by someone else’s rules is a violation of your own principles, although compromise is a fair game. When we play by adult rules, we are accepting that life doesn’t revolve around us, and it is common sense; we already learned about and outgrew that as teenagers. Yet, you see it over and over, and always find yourself muttering the following words under your breath, “are they serious?” Yes, you have to say that because you can’t believe that an adult could handle some situations with such irrational immaturity. Should you be one of those who fail to learn the game rules in adult life, here are a few points to follow:
- Accept responsibility for your actions
- Accept that doing the right thing is not always easy, but most people do it anyway, because the world doesn’t revolve around them and they are aware of that point
- Demonstrate control of your emotions
- Make your decisions with the knowledge that an outcome other than what you expect is possible, and that is what we call “life”
- Before you feel like displaying your childish response in front of others, take a walk and cool down. No one needs or wants to see that side of you
- Have integrity; do what is right even when no one is looking
- Take accountability for failing others and learn to apologize when its right to do so
- Treat your words as if they are the only thing that people have to measure you by; most times it is that way
- Treat people as you expect to be treated
- Do not blame your failures in life on anyone other than yourself. If you are as good as you believe that you are, you will get there
It’s a simple concept, and most of us get it, but there are always going to be those types. If my article can help even one of these types overcome that state of mind and state of irrational and often unethical behavior, I’ve done society a justice. If you find yourself in the presence of one of these types, breathe and take a moment to realize that they likely don’t see the flawed behavior. Explaining it to them is likely not going to help, so do what you can to avoid the same trap and you’ll be just fine.
Until the next time and next topic, be happy!